Wait a minute Mr Postman

So goes the refrain of a much-covered song from a now-defunct genre of love songs involving ‘snail mail’. Well may they call it that, with packages mailed to my sister in New Zealand taking up to 12 days to arrive. A Leunig calendar mailed to a friend in London in early December still has not arrived!

I’ve been hanging out every day for the Postie to arrive. What’s got me on Postie-alert is a series of online purchases, all of which offered free delivery via Australia Post. So far, the items have arrived on time (as alerted by text), although the first parcel took eight days to get here (including a weekend and a public holiday).

You may have noticed I had a month off social media and re-introduced myself with a selfie posting a letter (above). Not terribly original and a bit out of focus but it got some attention. What I didn’t say was the letter being posted was a return-to-sender; a marketing letter to a person who no longer lives here.

My most recent experience of return-to-sender was the return of a Christmas card to someone who moved and didn’t let me know. Several weeks elapsed between the posting and the return. I found that person’s email address and sent an electronic card, which I probably should have done in the first place.

When was the last time you got a personal, hand-written letter in the mail? People do still write letters, but by and large, personal communications have been overtaken by SMS, Messenger, email and PMS (private messages) on social media.

In the heyday of the US Postal service, hundreds of pop songs were written, exploiting the emotions engendered by (a) receiving a love letter or (b) conversely waiting for a letter which probably isn’t going to arrive.

There is no limit to the mawkishness of sentiments expressed in letter songs, as exemplified in Bill Carlisle’s 1938 tune No Letter in the Mail Today, covered by Roy Acuff, Bill Monroe, the Stanley Brothers and others.

No answer to my love letter

To sooth my achin’ heart

Why did God ever permit

True love like ours to part

The last verse goes quite close to the man saying that if he does not get a letter he will end it all. My music historian pal Franky’s Dad (aka Lyn Nuttall), put together this Spotify playlist ,which includes three versions of Please, Mr. Postman, a number one hit for the Motown group the Marvelettes.

Wait Mister Postman

Oh yeah

(Is there a letter in your bag for me?) Please, Please Mister Postman

(Why’s it been a very long time) Oh yeah

(Since I heard from this boyfriend of mine)

There has been speculation by reviewers and music historians that the song is a not-so subtle commentary on the Vietnam War.

There must be some word today

From my boyfriend so far away

Please, Mister Postman, look and see

Is there a letter, a letter for me?

Source: lyricfind

Many of you may recall that angst-ridden time when you broke up with someone and then regretted it. So you wrote a letter, didn’t you, and fruitlessly waited for a reply.

Elvis Presley had a massive hit with that earworm of a song, Return to Sender. The man writes to his estranged love and instead of reading the letter, she writes upon it, “Return to sender, address unknown, no such number, no such zone.”

Our romantic protagonist persists, as romantics do, sending it again by special delivery and even hand-delivered. But the letter keeps coming back (to that circular chorus – “she wrote upon it…”).

Writers Otis Blackwell (who also wrote Great Balls of Fire) and Winfield Scott were not to know the US Postal Service would change its delivery system of zones to zip codes the following year, making the lyric redundant. Not that anyone cared – Return to Sender went Platinum in the US (one million copies sold) and was used in the soundtrack of Girls, Girls, Girls in 1962. Songfacts.com, my go-to source when writing about hit records, notes that this song led to the US Postal Service issuing a commemorative Elvis stamp in 1993, marking what would have been The King’s 58th birthday.

Enterprising stamp collectors put Elvis stamps on letters that day and mailed them off with false addresses so they would be sent back marked “Return To Sender” and become collector’s items.”

Motown group The Boxtops had a hit with ‘The Letter’, a song which is the polar opposite of Please, Mr. Postman and Return to Sender. In ‘The Letter’, the man gets a letter (‘my baby she wrote me a letter’) and drops everything, saying ‘gimme a ticket for an aeroplane…’.

The song was famously re-invented by Joe Cocker in his Mad Dogs and Englishmen phase, relishing the song’s evocative, if ungrammatical bridge:

Well, she wrote me a letter

Said she couldn’t live without me no more

Listen mister, can’t you see I got to get back

To my baby once-a more

Anyway, yeah.

More recently Australian lyricist Nick Cave penned ‘Love letter’, kissing the seal on a letter and sending it off, having regretted something he said: “Love letter, love letter, go get her, go get her.”

Getting back to the headline, The Marvelettes, four young black women whose publicity photos of the day has them sporting beehive hairdos, first recorded Please, Mr. Postman in 1961.

It was a No 1 hit in the US, followed two years later by The Beatles. A dozen years on, The Carpenters came up with their own version of the song written by Georgia Dobbins, William Garrett, Freddie Gorman, Brian Holland, and Robert Bateman.

There are many lists of songs which mention posties, the postal service or letters, though for obvious reasons Tom Waits’s classic ‘Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis’ does not make the cut.

The ones I discussed must have rung my adolescent bell in the 1960s. Tunes like Stevie Wonder’s 1970 ballad, ‘Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m yours)’, passed me by, probably coinciding with my skiffle and jug band music phase. No, I do not have the duffle coat. (I threw it out when it had more holes than cloth. Ed)

Apart from ‘dead letters’ (undeliverable items), mail sometimes goes astray because of theft or hoarding by postal employees. Recently, a 61-year-old Japanese postal worker was referred to prosecutors after investigators found some 24,000 undelivered items dating back to 2003. The Guardian Weekly’s Global Report item said the postie told police it was ‘too much bother’ to deliver the mail.

Theft by mail employees is not uncommon in the US, where billions of items are delivered every year. The US Postal Service investigated 1,364 suspected employee mail theft cases and arrested 409 employees between October 2016 and September 2017.

Incidents of postal employee stealing or hoarding mail are less common in Australia, but authorities have reported an increase in ‘porch theft’ – persons unknown stealing parcels after they have been delivered.

If you did not know, Australia Post has a service where you can collect parcels from your local post office or have them re-directed if you are not going to be home.

As I discovered with my online parcel deliveries, I received a text offering two choices: 1/ someone will be home or 2/ pick up from the post office.

Given that Australia Post delivers $4.8 billion worth of parcels a year, that’s smart use of technology.

Further reading: https://bobwords.com.au/cancel-po-box/

 

 

Stamp of approval a one-horse race

stamp-winx-race
Australia Post celebrates Winx’s record-breaking 26th consecutive win with a commemorative stamp

You’d have to say Australia Post had a bit riding on the champion mare Winx winning her 26th consecutive race at Warwick Farm last Saturday. Let’s say at the outset that this is about stamp collecting, not horse racing (surveys show the latter subject turns FOMM readers off – or politics – that was a three horse race…Ed.)

Whether you like horse racing or not, the existence of Winx the super horse must have filtered through, as it is many a moon since any horse won this many races on the trot, which is racing parlance for an unbroken winning streak.

Celebrating the mare’s place in equine history, Australia Post released a commemorative stamp, pictured here by courtesy of AP and ‘with perforations’ as requested. Journalists received the press release from Australia Post about a minute after the race was run and won.

We plan ahead for important activities, achievements, and national events in the calendar, and had extra resources on standby to assist in producing the special stamps,” an Australia Post spokesperson said, in response to our obvious question.

So all ended well. If you are a stamp collector or philatelist as it is known in the trade, you will already have ordered your first day covers, special 26-stamp packs, a set of maxi cards and a medallion cover.

Horse stamps are not that unusual – examples include Black Caviar in 2013 and a set of four stamps issued in 1978. They featured Phar Lap, Bernborough, Peter Pan and Tulloch. The collection is notable for fine art work by Brisbane artist Brian Clinton.

Like Dusty Springfield, I was wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’ that either Malcom Turnbull or his nemesis were philatelists so I could make this politically relevant. But it seems only one (former) Federal politician, Philip Ruddock, collects stamps. This seemingly innocuous hobby at times embroiled the then Immigration Minister in controversy.

Ruddock, now Mayor of Hornsby Shire, was a member of Amnesty International. Critics found his membership of the organisation was at odds with his government’s hard-line immigration policies. In 2000, Amnesty asked Mr Ruddock not to wear his lapel badge when performing ministerial duties and not to refer to his membership when promoting policies opposed by Amnesty. AM 18/3/2000

In a profile for The Good Weekend in 2002, writer Richard Guilliatt was given a look at Ruddock’s collection, which spans three generations. Guilliatt, perhaps innocently, suggested that the high dramas of the job had spurred the stamp collecting hobby on.

“…every month letters pour into Ruddock’s Parliament House office in Canberra, imploring him to liberate the men, women and children detained behind razor wire in Australia’s desert camps for Third World asylum seekers,” he wrote. “Those letters come affixed with all manner of exotic stamps, which Ruddock gets his secretary to tear off so he can take them home to his house in the leafy northern hills of Sydney, to be packed away for sorting.

“That’s one of the good things about getting a lot of letters from Amnesty International,” Ruddock told Guilliatt.

If few politicians collect stamps, at least a dozen former Prime Ministers featured on Australian stamps in the 1950s and 1960s. It’s important to note that all received the honour after their deaths.

“Until the introduction of the Australia Post Australian Legends Awards in 1997, the only living person allowed on a stamp was the reigning monarch”, the spokeperson told FOMM.

Nevertheless, the PM’s head on a postage stamp seems clearly out of fashion now, in this era when one is never quite sure if the PM will last his or her term. But there have been enough sporting celebrities, athletes, actors, singers, writers and decorated soldiers to compensate.

In an aside for crime fiction aficionadas, the most infamous stamp collector award must surely go to Lawrence Block’s fictional hit man, Keller. John Keller is the protagonist in Block’s crime series which began with Hit Man in 1998. Keller collects pre-1940 stamps and uses down-time between ‘jobs’ to visit stamp shops and exhibitions. It’s a kind of cover for his apparent lack of legitimate income, not unlike Block’s gentleman burglar and antique bookstore owner, Bernie Rhodenbarr.

Many famous people are listed in various publications and websites as stamp collectors. The collection does not have to be distinguished to command a price. Former Beatle John Lennon’s collection of 550 stamps from his childhood was bought by the Smithsonian Institute’s National Postal Museum in 2005 for about $A74, 000.

Which brings me to the best-selling commemorative stamp of all time – the Elvis stamp released in 1993, Perhaps the delay since the rock singer’s death in 1977 was due to persistent ‘sightings’ of the late Mr Presley. Even today you will find folk who will tell you he is still alive and living under an alias, like someone in witness protection. Elvis would be 83 if still alive today.

The US Postal Service printed 500 million commemorative stamps – three times the usual print run. It was the most highly publicised stamp issue in the USPS history. The people were asked to choose between two designs (1.2 million votes), the majority preferring the stylised image of the young rocker, microphone in hand.

Stamps can be highly controversial items. For instance, the first secular Christmas stamp in the US, with its pair of white candles and a wreath with a red bow, was released in 1962.

Critics said it crossed the line between church and state. The public was also unenthused about a 1963 design – an illuminated Christmas tree in front of the White House.

Public takes dim view of Surfing Santa

The most controversial Australian stamp was also a Christmas release.  The 1977 stamp featured a humorous depiction by Adelaide artist Roger Roberts of Santa Claus riding a surfboard. Some members of the public were affronted, saying the postal service was not taking Christmas seriously. Until 1975, all Christmas stamps featured religious themes, often based on the traditional nativity story. There was no such fuss about the mix of secular and Christian stamps released in 1976.

If you thought the popularity of email would adversely affect stamp collecting, the market is as robust and profitable as ever. As an extreme example, the One-Cent Magenta from British Guiana, issued in 1856 and thought to be unique, sold at a New York auction in 2014 for a record $9.5 million.

In 2007, the Australian collection of Arthur Gray was sold through Shreves auction house in New York for more than $7 million. Among the spectacular results was the $265,000 paid for a block of four 1919 £1 brown and blue Kangaroos.

So did you collect stamps as a child? Did you, as I discovered, learn at some point in your cash-strapped adulthood that the collection was worthless?

We had a family friend who spent most of her younger years travelling to exotic climes and would write, with bundles of stamps included ‘for wee Bobby’.

I gave away stamp collecting and its fussy handling (gloves and tweezers and corners to mount the stamps rather than pasting them in the album), around about the time I realised girls were interesting.

I still have those two old albums tucked away somewhere – among Father’s Letters, I’m thinking.

Somewhat related reading: