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Watch out for wide loads

wide-loads-road-hazards — Photo by Laurel Wilson aka She Who Takes Photos Through The Car Window (SWTPTTCW)

When you’re caravanning in central Queensland, there are three main road hazards to watch for: road trains, road kill and wide loads. You won’t see the latter as often as kangaroos (dead or alive), wandering cattle or European tourists on bicycles. But when you do, there’s always plenty of warning. A pilot vehicle travelling well in front is the first clue. Or, if the load is wider than 5.5m, you will find police cars leading the convoy.

We encountered an 8-metre wide load when setting off from Clermont to Emerald on the Gregory highway.

The police pilot car stopped us and told us to move off the road.“It’s an 8-metre bucket and he’s not far behind me,” he warned.

Did I mention that in these parts the black soil plains turn to quicksand after rain? It was good that conditions were dry as we steered the car and van onto the grassy edges of the road.

Minutes later, the wide load roared past, followed by another escort vehicle and police car.

My view as a responsible road user is not unreasonable – we are entitled to our half of the road. The rules change when you are on outback roads traversed by road train, which often comprise a prime mover and two or even three trailers behind. When we are at truck stops, taking a breather, we usually check out the road trains that have stopped and sometimes ask the drivers where they are going. Last Sunday, we let a mine truck and its three trailers leave the rest stop first. The last thing caravanners averaging 85-90 kph want is one of those things on their hammer.

To that end, many grey nomads as they are known, employ UHF radio transmitters which they can use to tune into truckie transmissions.

It’s not exactly like the CW McCall country song “10-4 we got ourselves a convoy”, but is is useful for a van in front of a road train to be able to broadcast a message like: “We’ll pull over at the next truck stop, mate”.

I’m not sure about other grey nomads, but if you take the time to say G’day to truckies, it breaks down the “us and them” mindset.

I guess you’ve seen the movie, Duel?

At one rest stop I gave a young truck driver a hand to relocate a tyre which was in danger of falling out of his front trailer. He was towing two trailers full of car tyres. He hopped up on the drawbar and I held the tyre up until he could hoist it into the second trailer.

We had a chat about being on the road in a caravan and the etiquette of giving way to road trains. He assured me he would probably not catch up with us as his rig is limited to 90khm.

The wide load incident had me musing about the logistics involved in relocating the Peak Downs Homestead from its home of 118 years to Capella Pioneer Village. Pastoralist George Fairbairn had the homestead built for him in 1869. The builders used spotted gum timber and a system of mortise and tenon construction as nails were scarce and expensive to make in the mid-1800s.

We visited the village last Sunday and were impressed with the grand old homestead, considered to be one of the largest restored buildings of its type in Australia.

In 1987 the Capella Pioneer Village Committee negotiated for the purchase and removal of the homestead, which by that time had 40% white ant damage. Restoration work began 1989, again using local spotted gum timber and the system of mortise and tenon joints. Work was done in stages as funds were raised. The restoration, costing $125,000, included a new roof. The replacement value of the homestead today is more than $1 million. The committee member who welcomed visitors told me the homestead was moved from Peak Downs station in one piece in 1988.

This is not your typical pioneer cottage. The rooms are large with high ceilings, big fireplaces and all rooms open to a 25 metre long veranda. Try to imagine it traversing the plains on the back of a low loader (or two).

When you are towing a caravan or trailer, it is your responsibility to give way to road trains and wide loads. Bear in mind that vehicles of this type will be travelling at 80kmh with no way of braking or evading if you happen to be not paying attention.

Wide loads are one thing, but then there are the occasions when mining companies move a dragline from one mine to another. A dragline featured in that famous John Prine song, Paradise. “So the coal company came with the world’s biggest shovel, and they tortured the timber and stripped all the land”.

A dragline is a massive crane-like machine the size of an office building which operates on open cut coal mines. The sole task is to remove overburden with its 50 cubic metre capacity bucket to reveal the coal seams beneath.

In August 2017, BHP moved Dragline 27 from the Goonyella Riverside Mine to the South Walker Creek Mine. The Mackay Mercury reported that the 280km across country journey followed a route previously used to move another dragline in 2000. Highlights of the exercise included the 3,000 tonne, 45m tall Marion dragline crossing the Peak Downs Highway at Coppabella.

Draglines have 530 wheels and can ‘walk” across country at the rate of three or four kilometres per day. This exercise took 18 months to plan and four months to complete. Teams of contractors built a 35m wide corridor. Temporary road, rail and powerline crossings were built as late as possible and removed after the dragline had moved on.

While you’d have to be lucky to witness a dragline crossing, it is important motorists are aware of oversized load etiquette.

Graeme Ransley from the Road Accident Action Group told the Minerals and Energy Bulletin wide loads are getting wider, up to 10.5m. Police escorts are required when the load is wider than 5.5m. The RAAG began a campaign to educate motorists about wide loads after requests from pilot drivers and police

“Some of the concerns raised included a lack of motorist knowledge, and patience, with drivers not heeding lawful directions by escort pilots to slow down or stopping in a safe place,” he said.

“By 2013, there were up to 650 escorted wide loads per month in the Mackay region alone”.

Bearing those scary stats in mind, I spent a while this week looking at dash cam videos. This resulted in unpleasant dreams and a resolve to lift my driving attention levels. If you are planning a long trip with a caravan or camper trailer, ‘What truckies put up with every day” is a stark reminder to pay attention and drive to the conditions. Warning: not for the faint-hearted.

You will be happy to know I posted this after we’d arrived safely home, after covering 6,178 kms in five weeks. Next week’s list: washing, wheel alignment, car wash, dentist, Covid vaccination, get SWTPOTCW to write a guest blog; find another footie team to follow.

Impractical man approaches roundabout

roundabout-impractical-driver — Stage one (drainage) is done for the new roundabout coming to this tricky corner on Churchill Drive, Warwick (Qld).

Considering I once entered a roundabout the wrong way, I’ve so far managed to survive life as an impractical man. If you’ll permit me to misquote a line from that Kinks song (Lola): “Well I’m not the world’s most practical guy..”

Such thoughts emerged last week as I haplessly searched for our car in the local shopping centre car park.

“What does it look like, mate?” asked a passer-by, trying to be helpful.

”It’s a white SUV”

“Mate, there must be 60 white SUV’s in this car park – could you be more specific?

“Um, it’s new”

“What’s the rego?”

“Um, it starts with a 9”

She Who Used To Teach Geography sometimes remarks, a tad scathingly, about my wayward sense of direction. And these days she has been known to point out that not everyone can play guitar and harmonica, sing and remember lyrics of a song they wrote, all at the same time.

She inherited practical skills from her builder father and honed her sense of direction training as a geography teacher. Hence her exasperation when she says ‘go left here’ and I almost always gravitate to the right.

I rationalise this as a left brain/right brain conflict. We creative people are more right-brain dominated. Isn’t that true, Nic?

Therefore, while I can knock out a 1,200-word blog in 40 minutes, I’m almost certain to hire a handy person to mend a broken mailbox, call the RACQ when we have a flat tyre or try four screwdrivers before finding the one that will actually do the job. (Ed: It actually needed an Allen key.)

My practical skills have improved somewhat after years of frustrated tutelage from SWUTTG. One example might be that I can dismantle my own coffee machine to clean the filter and run a de-scaling solution through it. Another time I changed a light bulb.

Sometimes I come up with practical solutions all by myself. After a year or more of trying to put a cover over our caravan on windy days, I decided the solution was to roll it up and place it lengthwise along the roof, then roll the ends down the front and back of the van (after SWUTTG pointed out that the front of the cover is marked ‘Front’.). Eventually I will stop praising myself for this. When I next mention it she may well say “What, do you want a medal?”

It was difficult growing up in this part of the world in the 1950s and 1960s, when every second bloke (and a few girls) could replace a clutch plate and do their own grease and oil change. Some in my age bracket seem determined to keep these skills alive.

Just last weekend over lunch a friend was telling me how he planned to obtain a new engine and gearbox from the wreckers for his 2004 Ford ute, which has done 300k+. He says he plans to do all the work himself. I shuddered. The women scoffed.

My knowledge of motor vehicles is limited to: fuel goes in here, check tyre pressures, tighten wheel nuts before towing and stay on the left of the white line.

That was (my) number one reason for buying a new car (with a five-year warranty). I figure it might see me out.

What no jumper cables?

Some years ago we were staying at a caravan park between Georgetown and Clermont and when we went to leave, there was nothing doing when I turned the key. The battery was not just flat, it was dead. The closest RACQ was 80 kms away in Georgetown.

Eventually a bloke who used to drive trucks for a living backed his vehicle up to ours and connected jumper leads.

So we got started and drove to Clermont where a mechanic fitted a new battery after first commenting on the old one: “There’s no water in this battery, mate, none at all.”

He gave me the same scornful look Aussie blokes give when SWUTTG drives into a caravan park (and then flawlessly backs it into the designated space while I stand around haplessly waving my arms).

An old mate with great DIY skills has just retired and bought a large ex-ambulance which he is busily converting into a motor home. Last I heard, he was underneath the vehicle working on the plumbing (fresh water tanks and ‘other’). One of his ingenious plans was to build a bed platform on hydraulics which is neatly tucked away in the roof during the day.

This topic stirred up a couple of old memories, not all of which I am proud. There was the time SWUTTG’s Dad came to visit and decided (with my help) to build a timber fence across the front of our house. The old fence had pretty much fallen over and our two dogs were apt to go walkabout. So Dad, being the quintessential Canadian handyman, went on down to the ‘lumber yard’ and then persevered with my lamentable efforts as an offsider.

After a bit of swearing at the density of Australian timber, we got our posts set in concrete and Dad went off to hire a nail gun. It seems unfair that after we moved, someone bought the quarter acre block, removed the house and bulldozed everything else.

The other memory was prompted by roadworks going on not far from home. The local Council has acquired funding from the Federal ‘Black Spot’ programme to build a new roundabout between the Condamine River weir bridge and the railway crossing off Churchill Street.

My research uncovered the Council’s notice of roadworks, which mentions everything except the cost of the roundabout (about $380,000).

A small investment, but no less important than the $25 million the State Government will spend on an election promise. Work has started on a notorious ‘black spot’ intersection 12 kms from Warwick. An overpass will be built at the Cunningham and New England highways intersection; work to be completed by 2022. Known locally as the ’Eight Mile”, the intersection is used by vehicles travelling between Brisbane, Warwick and Toowoomba.

Keep left at all times

Which brings me to a confession and a 30-second video filmed at a roundabout on Vancouver Island in 2004. The confession part involved my stopping off at the Yatala pie shop circa 1995, a diversion from the Gold Coast motorway. When navigating a newly completed roundabout, I entered it the same way you would if you were driving in Europe, the US or Canada. I’m not sure how that happened and I swear it only happened once.

“Dad!” said the teenager in the passenger seat, “WTF are you doing?”

Fair call.

Now that I have managed to write 1200 words made up of self-deprecating anecdotes, I must return to a small list of domestic chores:

Vacuum house;

Finish washing and hang out clothes;

Re-set mouse traps;

Take dog for walk

SWUTTG’s list looks like this:

Sharpen secateurs;

Fit new hose connections;

Lubricate squeaky door hinges;

Clean tank filters (Bob to hold ladder);

Proof-read this and scoff a lot.

Keeping your distance – way out west

There’s a misleading headline for you – ‘way out west’. At best we were 400 kms from home at any one time. All the while, though, we were keeping our distance, as Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk encouraged us to do. Regardless, she also said we should to go forth and do tourist things in the State of Queensland. Spend money and support our small towns, the Premier said, while reminding us to meet COVID-19 restrictions. These include keeping 1.5m distance from other humans, washing your hands at every opportunity and avoiding Victorians like the plague. (I added that bit, just for a bit of colour.)

On the first day, we stopped for the few minutes it takes to navigate into the viewing enclosure built so tourists can enjoy the art work at the Yelarbon silos (above). The last time we drove from Warwick to Goondiwindi, this controversial project had not been completed. I include this link not to rake over old coals, rather to showcase the solid regional reporting that is at risk now that so many country news outlets have been shut down or relegated to online-only.

Before Yelarbon, our first stop on a 10-day circuit through western Queensland was Inglewood, where a wind chill made the noon temperature of 12 degrees feel like 5. We stopped at the Shot 2 U cafe for lunch, since our first day out was a day off for the cook. This cafe was serving takeaways and limiting the numbers of people who could be in the building at the same time. She Who Prefers Gluten Free found that this cafe ticked all of the boxes so we bought a container full of gluten-free, dairy-free brownies. It’s like the Premier keeps saying – go out into these small towns and spend some money. That’s not what they are saying in other States right now, but on the other hand, Queensland is/was COVID-free.

On we travelled to the Moonie Crossroads Roadhouse, where we parked our van and adjourned to the lounge for whatever was on the menu, while keeping our distance. The German tourist who works behind the bar happily found and served a piccolo of bubbles to celebrate Bastille Day. Next day, we set off on a short drive to Glenmorgan and Myall Park Botanic Garden. This 132ha property is privately owned and operated by a trust and contains many Grevillea species, bred and cultivated by the Gordon family. They named the best known of these species after their daughters – Robyn, Sandra and Melinda. It’s a wonderful little oasis of native flora and fauna which last year was at risk because of the effects of ongoing drought. Some 300mm of rain in February helped the property bounce back.

On our trek through Moonie, Glenmorgan, Roma, Theodore, Kilkiven, Maleny, Brisbane then home, we were followed in part by three single women of a certain age who decided on a short road trip for much the same reason as we did, ie to ‘get out of the house’. They travelled together in one car, stayed at motels, ate in restaurants or cafes and spotted rare sights like this ‘B-Triple’, on the road. (photo by Sandra Wilson).

Also taking a break from four walls were Brisbane friends we bumped into by serendipity in the small river town of Theodore. Like us, they had decided to get away from the house for a while. Many of their regular activities have been curtailed so as we all know, after a month or two of living under one roof, you get a bit stir crazy. After a spontaneous picnic lunch, and keeping our distance, our friends continued on towards Winton.

In Theodore, where we spent a couple of nights, we spotted four vehicles with Victorian number plates. Theodore has a police station, so you’d have to assume they have been checked.

Nevertheless, anxiety-tainted emotions arose; worries about contagion, proximity and the fear of the unknown. Hypothetical worries maybe, but you never know. Perhaps those with Victorian plates had been in Queensland since March, or earlier.

Some Grey Nomads, particularly those from colder climes, spend a lot of their winter north of the border.

Other travcllers seem to be worming their way into the State and not caring too much about leaving an accurate trail. Last I checked, there were still 185 people ‘missing’ after filling in forms at the NSW/Qld border. They are all supposed to be in quarantine for two weeks, but many still cannot be found. This implies that they used fake registration and/or address and contact details. Police have arrested several people this week, so we will watch the story unfold when they appear in court in September.

Crikey, as we say here in Australia when we really mean WTF. It would only take one contagious person to go into a licensed bar or restaurant and the viral ball would start rolling again.

I wondered if the authorities at border control are scanning drivers’ licences, as routinely happens when you go to licensed clubs. Or would this infringe our civil rights?

On the way to Theodore, we stopped off at the Isla Gorge lookout. If you want to climb down into the sandstone gorge and go exploring in this national park, you need to check in with the ranger, take a detailed map and make sure someone knows what you plan to do.

As it stands, you can pick your way carefully along a steep, unfenced track to a viewing point, but venturing further is only for the brave and thoroughly prepared tramper. You can stay overnight, but you need a permit and must be self-sufficient.

Everyone has their own comfort level when travelling. I spotted a young couple, rugged up and huddled around the camp fire at a Roma farmstay, before retiring to their little dome tent (as temperatures approached 5 degrees. At Wandoan we chatted briefly to an older couple in a little car who were exploring the Showgrounds as a likely place to camp. As we were setting up our caravan (and connecting power), the couple put up a small tent, table and chairs and a portable barbecue. It got to 3 degrees that night, so no, we were not keeping our distance!

If you want to go bush but feel like you need a guided tour with all the creature comforts, refer to Everald Compton’s recent blog). He and his wife Helen recently took time out for a bush holiday. Everald was born in 1931, so those of us who like to go bush with a swag and a nylon tent can excuse him a bit of luxury. They joined an organised tour with Nature bound Australia, a bush touring experience, where guests are ferried around in the operator’s four-wheel drive.

“We chose how many days we wanted to go on tour with them and agreed on an itinerary, after we had interesting advice from them about the many options that rural Australia offers. None of our chosen destinations had yet experienced COVID19.”

“Our itinerary took us on back roads through delightfully small communities and our accommodation was in bed and breakfast homes on farming and grazing properties, with other meals at wineries and quaint cafes in interesting places.”

Everald concluded that the bush adventure proved to be the right antidote for COVID-19 angst.

“A good bush holiday is all about reconnecting to nature and the guiding restorative power it has on our lives,” he wrote.

I’m sure our friends, creating their own versions of a bush adventure, would entirely agree. Just avoid interstate vehicles and, if someone wants to shake your hand, use hand sanitizer before you touch anything else.

In praise of the small caravan

small caravan at Barkly Homestead Roadhouse, NT

It’s hard to estimate just how many kilometres we’ve clocked up touring around in this little Jayco pop-top caravan, but it’s a lot. Probably close to 100,000. We bought the van back in late 2011, after an exhaustive search for a small, older caravan. We decided that as we did not know if we’d enjoy caravanning or not, it seemed wisest to spend as little money as possible.

Eventually we bought ‘The Tardis’ from a retired aeronautical engineer, a Mr Fussy who’d looked after the 1984 caravan meticulously, kept it under cover and added luxury extras like electric brakes and LED lights, as well as small truck tyres to give extra clearance. There was an awning too, stored away under the beds (more on that later).

Done all the dumb things

Caravanners would probably agree, but you never stop learning. You never, ever stop doing dumb things (like not putting the chocks back in the van; instead driving them into the turf as you leave). One of our neighbours at Castle Rock campground at Girraween confessed he had once driven out of a camp site with stabilisers still down. This is not recommended. The same could be said for not properly clipping down the front window, not locking the van door and forgetting to undo the safety chains before you drive the car away! (Guilty as charged, on all counts. Ed)

Most of the National Park campers we encountered recently were in relatively modest rigs – a few A-vans, a couple of camper trailers and one caravan even older than ours. There were also a lot of tents, a lot of kids and not an IPad to be seen anywhere.

You don’t often see rigs like the one above in national parks. The access defeats them and there’s usually not enough room to park a beast like this (the sides push out, making for a large living room). I believe this one also had a washing machine and dryer. For $100,000 or more (including vehicle), you could have one too.

We saw many rigs like this (and larger) on our three month, round-Australia trip in 2014. There was a rig we saw in Alice that also had a trailer on the back towing a small Suzuki 4WD. On the back of the 4WD was a bike rack and two bikes!

Meanwhile we have learned how to eat, sleep, make love and play scrabble in a 12ft caravan. There have been occasions when we coveted more space, a toilet and shower even, but they are few in number.

Our caravan is simplicity itself. We arrive, pick a spot, reverse in (easy), put the jockey wheel on, detach the car, get the van level and push the roof up. Job done.

We should have kept a log book. The top photo was snapped at the Barkly Roadhouse in the Northern Territory. I was taken by the contrast between our humble rig and the ‘B-Triple’ cattle train.

Our most recent van trip between Christmas and New Year and beyond was to Girraween National Park via Brisbane, Warwick and Yangan. Our sister-in-law had a houseful prior to and including Christmas, so we parked the van next to her house on the bayside and did some ‘home camping’.

Onwards to Girraween where we found a quiet spot near some other campers, who appeared to be camping as an extended family.

This was the trip where, apart from the super moon and the blessed silence after 9pm, we made two amazing discoveries about our caravan. One, I found out how to light the grill! The van has a full-sized oven and cook top that runs off gas. To light the grill and make toast, I finally discovered, you open the oven door, turn on the grill and stick a match underneath. Not what you’d call rocket science, but we had tried various ways of lighting the grill in the past, but nothing worked.

The second thing, given we were going to be staying a few nights, was to put up the awning (left) − an old-style canvas sheet which has to be threaded into a channel along the roof of the caravan, then pegged out with poles and ropes. Believe it or not, this was a first. Now, with a bit of wax for the sail track and a few extra tent pegs, we can achieve this every time we stay more than one night. #feelingsmug

It’s been around, this little van. And, I’d need to add that we have seen smaller ones – 10 footers with a door at the rear. A six-footer with a home-made tilt-top and a few slide-on vans that sit on the backs of utes. There are also bubble vans so small you could probably tow one with a motorcycle.

Ours has been hither and yon – the first big trip in 2012 to the Man from Snowy River festival at Cooma, the National Folk Festival in Canberra and home again. We did a big northern trip in 2013, to Cairns and Karumba, across country to the Territory and back in a loop that took in Budjamulla (Lawn Hill) National Park and home, via western Queensland. Then the big trip in 2014, road-testing our near-new Ford Territory (which had only 9,000 kms on the clock). On reflection, we should have gone for six months, as Western Australia is far too large to whiz through in a month.

We’ve also taken this rig to the Blue Mountains for the music festival and that was when we discovered the leaks we’d fixed were, er, not fixed.

So I went to K Mart and bought a really big tarpaulin for $30 and we threw it over the entire van. Try doing that in a fifth wheeler.

Caravans – a money drain or a hobby for DIY types

We have spent some money on the van, it’s true. The first time was when heavy local rain seeped in and destroyed the kitchen bench top, which we then had replaced with marine ply (after fixing the leaks). Then when our local mechanic checked the tyres, he concluded they were so old they didn’t even have identifier numbers on them. So $400 later we were back in business and feeling safe. We’ve had lots of spot jobs done on the road (the insides of our three-way fridge fell to pieces after being taken on the Lawn Hill road) but a smart young guy in Mt Isa fixed it for $130. Another chap in Mt Isa stayed back on a Friday night to fashion new aluminium hinges to repair the van door which had come adrift. An artful fellow with a van repair business near Sunshine Coast Airport recently fixed everything on the van that didn’t work properly and replaced worn wheel bearings.

Not a small caravan No 2 (is that a quad bike on the back?)

Some people, we found, are permanently on the road, hence the need for impressive rigs like this (left). Others make do nicely with vans as small as the one below.

I fondly remember on one of our first forays north stumbling upon a former work colleague, retired from newspaper life, travelling with his wife in an old 10ft van with single beds. “It’s all we need,” said Roy, getting his fiddle out for a few campfire tunes.

As an old fella we met in the NT, towing a 30-year-old van with an aged Kingswood* said, when a fifth-wheeler rig roared past: “Aw, he’s just showin’ orf.”

*Holden Kingswood, the classic car for everyman, produced from 1968-1984.

More reading : an outback travelogue from 2014