My love is on the Internet, again
he says he'll come to bed soon, but he never tells me when;
he's out there surfing somewhere, with imaginary friends,
he's a little fish in a big pond, dot com au at the end

My love is on the Internet, a-gain,
I fear some horny Geek Girl is messing with his brain;
for the net's an open sewer and he's peering down the drain,
printing out the porn page as I sing this sweet refrain.

Chorus:
Why won't you come to bed with me,
We could Yahoo all night long for free,
And make a real connection if we try.
but every time I hear that modem squeal
Like a lover's cry that's not quite real
I put a bookmark in my paperback
And think about the things I lack
And dream about a Real Time guy .

My love is on the Internet, again,
I wish he'd kept his motorbike, we had more in common then,
but he's moved away from maintenance and he's given up on Zen;
now he follows the money markets and the fortunes of the Yen. .

The Information Highway is an easy road to be on
Kerouac could have travelled it without ever leaving home;
It's like a message in a bottle, swept up on the sand,
But there's a million bottles on the beach
Each with a unique message of its own

My love is on the Internet a-gain,
his Cyber-infidelity indelibly ingrained;
he left me with the phone bill, I left him standing in the rain,
he even took the laptop on which I wrote this sweet refrain.

Chorus:
Why won't you come to bed with me,
We could Yahoo all night long for free,
And make a real connection if we try.
but every time I hear that modem squeal
Like a lover's cry that's not quite real
I put a bookmark in my paperback
And think about the things I lack
And dream about a Real Time guy .